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Post by Mattzo on Mar 31, 2016 12:54:43 GMT
Text Commentary Hall of Fame
Text commentary can often prove entertaining. Therefore, a central place to remember them all seems to be fitting. I'll prettify this later, for now just keep an eye out (and post some old favourites!) - BBC Sport, England v New Zealand, 30th March 2016
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Post by Balladeer on Apr 20, 2016 12:32:52 GMT
BBC text commentary, Paul Grunill:
"BBC WM's Richard Wilford at Lord's:
"Sam Robson's sheer hunger for runs has dragged Middlesex to almost-certain safety against Warwickshire. He continues to prod the England selectors after passing the 300-run mark for the match. Barring an unusually sporting declaration, a draw seems inevitable."
'Prod the England selectors' - now that conjures up some interesting mental images. If you could, what would you use? Snooker cue? Bratwurst? A stick with a sponge on the end covered in fig jam (thank you EL Wisty)..."
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Post by Balladeer on Apr 26, 2016 11:40:18 GMT
George Dobell:
"Ian Bell has just hit three fours in an over through the covers off Brooks. So pleasing were they, I heard grown men make the sort of groans only their wives should hear."
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Post by Balladeer on May 19, 2016 13:56:37 GMT
Alan Gardner: "Chameera to Bairstow, no run, short again, this zings away and into the gloves as Bairstow half-motions towards the ball, Chandimal making his sex face as he takes it"
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Post by Balladeer on May 20, 2016 10:16:58 GMT
Andrew Miller: "Jonners: "Isn't a pallavah a pudding made with meringue, fruit and cream?" That's a mess. (Eton-style, like the government)"
Oooooh, political!
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Post by Mattzo on May 28, 2016 16:31:41 GMT
Andrew Miller: "11,688 in today" says George Dobell. We thought for a moment this was his prediction for Woakes' career wickets tally
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Post by Mattzo on May 28, 2016 17:09:44 GMT
ziyad: "Dear Miller, can you please NEVER say the phrase "one way to skin a cat"? I am concerned that you might get attacked by SJWs or PETA members." Thanks for your concern. Actually, I do have a cat (or rather, the kids do). I would happily skin it on a daily basis, the scrounging little savage
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Post by Balladeer on May 28, 2016 21:09:13 GMT
They actually published a comment using the term "SJWs"? Urgh.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2016 15:39:07 GMT
'Eranga to Ali, FOUR, on the hip, wafted through square leg like Dumbledore tapping his wand for attention in the class. Magical.'
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Post by Balladeer on Jun 11, 2016 14:25:38 GMT
Alan Gardner: " 94.5: Anderson to Pradeep, no run, oh, that's a jaffa, beautiful seam and then swinging late as the batsman again planted himself on the back foot, this close to hitting the top of off. That ball was like a cougar making eyes at a virgin" I'm filthy with my choices of comments aren't I?
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Post by Balladeer on Jul 22, 2016 13:41:40 GMT
Another Gardnerian one: "YJB is doing a crossword on the team balcony 41.2... Mickey Arthur might have a cross word or two in mind over on the other side..."
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Post by Balladeer on Aug 11, 2016 15:57:40 GMT
Andrew Miller: "Wahab Riaz to Woakes, FOUR, Chris Woakes? Chris Strokes!"
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Post by Balladeer on Aug 30, 2016 13:15:21 GMT
Gardner again: "Mohammad Amir to Roy, FOUR, touch fuller, Roy plays straight but gets a thick inside edge to deep square leg... where Mohammad Nawaz does an impression of a beached seal in his attempt to flick the ball back and allows it to run past him for four"
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Post by Balladeer on Aug 30, 2016 16:09:17 GMT
Amy Lofthouse (BBC): "Butt-scoop!" Er.
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Post by belleoftheredball on Aug 30, 2016 16:31:31 GMT
"Amy Lofthouse" is arguably the real groaner. Then again, I laughed out loud when Bumble said "The People's Republic of Chelmsford" to the Essex fan in the crowd. I'm not sure I'm the best judge.
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